When God closes a door...

Yesterday, all the drama surrounding my new job came to a head. I had my first one-on-one with my manager and she told me that there had been another complaint about me from one of the girls. I had to give my side of the discussion on an embarrassing issue that happened a few days before (that two of the girls were helping me figure out and advising me on) and then I was questioned about a customer who would not allow me to assist her like I did something wrong. Add that to the two errors that I'd made that day (easily fixed but frustrating) and it was all I could do not to burst into tears at my station. I mean, one of the girls was trying to joke with me and I couldn't look at her or speak because I was that close to losing control of my emotions (and we'd just had a training about how crying at work reduces your credibility so I wasn't going to have that). After I got control again, the girl came over to apologize to me and I let her know that she hadn't done anything wrong but I was just really frustrated because the learning curve is so steep there and there's no formal policy to tell a person how to do things when they don't go exactly according to plan. I told them how I was frustrated because I was new, the system is so outdated and it can't do things that the systems at my other two banks could do, how I felt like I was trying to fit in and still wasn't, and it just got to me. The girl told me that it took her five month to learn what I'd learned in only a few weeks, and that maybe they forgot that we don't know this stuff and were holding us accountable for things that we couldn't do. they hadn't thought of it before. It took them seeing me that upset to start making an effort to make me feel like I was a part of that team, speaking to me without my first having to speak to them and trying to make me feel better...only it was to little, too late because when I got home the recruiter from the temp agency called and told me that the manager decided to end the assignment. Perfect ending to a perfectly horrible day. I was not told exactly why, but after I explained to the recruiter what I was dealing with there, she said that it didn't sound like a very good fit and that I was welcome to go into the local Adecco office to see if they can place me in another assignment. I'm going to speak to a friend of the family who worked in unemployment for years about my options because I would really like to take advantage of the offer I got earlier that I could continue to collect my benefits while I was in school.

You know, it's not that the assignment is over that bothers me. I really didn't care for the job and I knew that it wasn't working out but I was giving it my best effort. My issue is that I believe I know why she decided to end the assignment and it was for no fault of my own. My coworkers threw me under the bus because they were suspicious of me, and they were suspicious because of the way that she brought me onboard. They sabotaged me, and that's the part that upsets me. So after the tears yesterday over this whole Union Federal saga, I started to think about the other options for me. If I can get into this program, I can concentrate on school and continue to collect unemployment until it runs out. Aaron had an interview with Douglas Liquors yesterday for a part time job and they really liked him. They told him that it was between him and three others for a second interview. He told me that this is a blessing in disguise, and I know that it is because I trust my Heavenly Father but I don't know what I was supposed to learn or what my purpose was in this experiment. Maybe it was to show the group how their behavior affects other people. I'm not sure how they are going to take it when they find out this morning that I'm not there (I'm supposed to work today...my first Saturday). But on the good side, I can spend more time with Alex again, and I can collect until Adecco finds an assignment for me, and I have a better chance to finish my vest for Rhinebeck, which is next weekend. I'm going to knit something, and bake something, and clean something today...because I can.

P.S. on an awkward note, I have to bring my keys for the bank to the Adecco office, and I have to send my husband up to collect my personal things because it's clear that she doesn't want me to go back in there. I guess she is afraid that I'll cause a scene. I guess she never got to know me at all.